happy as i am

BLOG SHADES DAY

all you have to do is put your sexy sunglasses on, take a picture of yourself, post it on your blog,
and let us know with a comment here on eagle eye.
so we can all have a good gleg at you.

BLOG SHADES DAY WILL BE HELD NEXT FRIDAY, AUGUST 7.

please pass it on.
i'll do another post nearer the time.

and if you don't have any sunglasses, that's no excuse.
try painting your eyes black, or something.

... firstly much happier today than yesterday. I had a naff nights sleep but the shut-eye between 6.30 and 7.30am seems to have sorted me out and I am feeling sooo positive!

... freaked out by how quickly time goes by. Can't believe tis August at the weekend.

... worried that we will never get our house ready to sell. Despite only having 6 monts til Bump arrives I can find no sense of urgency in either buying tiles, DIY or arranging to get our house put on the market.

... struggling to remember I am pregnant. I see people with babies and think 'oooh, maybe we should start a family' before I remember - D'oh! I think its because the sickness/tiredness has gone and there is very little obvious symptoms?

... glad to have so many friends on BCUK who listen when I am down, share my laughter when I am happy and advise and guide me from my mistakes.

Have a good day everyone

but I'm sure all is alright. My mum told me off for worrying bout Bump but I can't help it. I'm a natural worrier. Anyway, I'm feeling a little bit concerned coz I'm feeling all achy inside where Bump is - I've read all the books and the rational part of my brain is aware that stretchy pulls is just my body adjusting and I only need to worry bout crampy pains, but the irrational part?

I can't help it.

Thanks for listening

x

After much deliberation I have bought myself a contraption to listen to Bumps heartbeat. I am hoping it will put my paranoia to rest between antenatal appointments as its ages yet before i should be able to Bump moving.

I've also treated myself to Cherry Cake and Ginger Beer - a book by Jane Brockett from Lisaakyb's recomendation.

I am still awaiting Men In Black 1 & 2 to drop through my letter box, so hopefully Mr Posty will bring me nice things over the next few days instead of advertising and circulars!

Yippee. Im excited.

x

and today I just want to crawl back into my bed and hide. I've drawn a little sustenance from reading my friends blogs but overall I still feel a big black cloud hanging above my head.

The Bump is fine, there is the beginnings of a protuberance, so all is well, but today I can't seem to get moving. Too much to do, too little time is my problem. But move I must, my desk calls me, I need to be there in 25 minutes and I've yet to get myself dresssed.

I hope those of you who are on Summer Holidays have nice weather and those of you off to work or not a peaceful day. I'll cheer up soon enough.

Happy

x

Friday night was really good, dropped hubby at a friends house, picked up another friend and drove over to a second friends house. The boys were having Pizza and watching Rambo 4 on Blu-Ray, the girls on the other hand were having Indian and a gossip.

It was a nice evening, but between my glass of Jaques, my curry and some very rich cake I didn't feel so well. I rang hubby and he agreed to be picked up at about 10.30pm, made it home and made it... to the bathroom just in time to bring up my supper I felt better afterwards and slept really well.

Saturday we went shopping, didn't find much worth buying but it was nice to spend the time in the sunshine with hubby. After lunch I went round the shops again, this time on a mission to find my mum something pretty to wear to a wedding next weekend. Thankfully we found a pretty dress in the first shop AND a nice cardi, so we were able to rush home so I could snuggle on the sofa and feel sorry for myself again.

Today hubby and I went to see the American Hot Rod rally, there were hundreds (or loads of) beautiful muscle cars and Harley Bikes. I took loads of photos. I'm gonna have to upload them soon, but at the moment I haven't paid up for my Pro account so don't have full storage space.

In the afternoon I did my play date and was saved by the rain, I got to take her home early and get out of the rain. I've not done much today but it has been relaxing just chilling out with the hubby. It has reminded me that my marriage is strong and Bump can only bring us closer. Tonight I'm watching Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum GAWD, how can people bring their kids up to be sooo useless. It's funny.

Seems like I miss the best night of the week in blog, miss out on all the fun of Millys pink party and instead end up logging in the nights nobody is here! Ah well.

All is going reasonably well in my world, except that my sciatica is on the mend and instead I think I've a trapped nerve (possibly stil sciatica?) but it hurts when I walk, sit still for too long or move, and to make matters worse I can only take Paracetomol 'cuz of Bump. I'm booked in for Physio (after being referred on the 8th July) as the more I walk stupidly from the current pain the more pain my other leg seems to be in to compensate. Apparently though I can't have physio til I'm 14 weeks pregnant which accounts for the delay. Shame the hospital didn't think to send me a letter stating I could have physio after my 14 weeks, no they decided not to even send a letter til a week after they got my referral. Thankfully now its on Monday afternoon, so I hope to be on the mend.

I digress, I have no idea what I was starting to say...

I have started a 'journal' - a proper paper one, for Bump and to keep all my Bump related memories in. I wrote a first letter the day of the scan and finally persuaded hubby to write a loving message to his unborn Bump saying how the scan made him feel. He's not a one with words normally, but what he wrote made my eyes water tears well up. He's not really sharing his feelings with me. He's a man after all so it was nice to gain an understanding of his thoughts. He's been moody of late, worrying about work, how we'll manage post Bump and all. Me on the other hand? Scatty as scatty can be.

So, where was I? Oh yes, if I don't blog as much its because I have less energy, or I've forgotten where I've left the lappy!

In other news, this morning I made it down the gym. I cycled 1.5kms in 5 minutes followed by an extremely pained and slow walk which eventually became a slow trot. I ran 1.5kms in 15 minutes - a fraction of my pre-hols distances - but better than 'nought, before cycling a further 1.5kms.

I had energy all day, except for a meeting that ran through my lunch break, and good job too, coz I had/have so much work to do. Being scatty I have no attention span so work is piling up. Tonight we had a super wholesome supper - hubby had bacon & sausage sarnies and I had a full breakfast - bacon, egg, sausage and beans with white bread and butter. Yum!

So I'm waffling again? And your point is? It's my blog. I will if I want to! Uhm I've forgotten again. Ah, I give up. Goodnight all, and take care

Love to you all

Happy

x

Wishing you a fun filled, sunny, relaxing day filled with people you love and presents that you want.

Thinking of you

Love Happy

x

I called my mother in law up at work on Friday lunchtime, to invite myself for dinner tonight. And a lovely evening it was too. Mother in law is known for her Cottage Pie, tis absolutely yummy and she'd made it for us this night. I'd been looking forward to it since Friday.

So, we drove over, was nice to be there in 30 minutes instead of the hour and half by public transport. Sat down to dinner, and although I tucked in, all I could taste/smell was fish. I could see it was lean minced beef, I could see hubby tucking in, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd expected.

Mother in law had some delicious desserts too, a chocolate cheesecake, a lemon tart and some fruit salad. I managed to pig out on two slices of chocolate and a sliver of lemon and spent the next hour feeling like a greedy pig. Serves me right.

We didn't stay too much longer after we'd been fed and watered, I don't like driving in the dark and I was starting to feel sleepy, so we headed home. Found ourselves a decent enough parking space and I am just about ready for sleeping.

Tomorrow I've to be up bright and early to be at the hospital for 8am. Should be good, just keeping everything crossed that they don't find two beings in my belly. Eeek.

Have a great week everyone

Happy

x

I only read one daily Newspaper this week, but there were several stories in it which annoyed the hell outta me.

The first story was of the 69 year old lady with 2 year old twins who recently died. I can't believe how selfish this woman was, to decide to have children at 66 years of age. Even if she had survived, how much ridicule would those two babies have been put through? I can understand why pregancy is delayed into your mid forties, ideally I would've wanted to start a family years ago given the choice but we waited til we were a bit more stable. However there is a HUGE difference between being a mum at 45 and twenty years later at 65. Whatever happened to common sense?

The second story to annoy me was the story of Brown supporting Blair for 'President of Europe'. Good lord, the man couldn't manage the United Kingdom, what hope have we if politicians let him loose on Europe? Surely the general public should have some say in all this? Has he not looked around and seen the state our own country is in? Does he have no remorse or culpability? Teenage pregnancies highest ever, unemployment increasing again, legacys of his time in power. PLEASE don't give him any more power.

Then, there was one story which made me want to cry my eyes out. The tale of an 80 something year old man who reversed his car into his wife and killed her. I can't begin to understand how sad he, and his family must feel about what has happened, what an awful way to end 57 years of marriage. My thoughts go out to him, surely the last thing he needed was to see it all over the papers.

Finally two or three good news articles to restore faith in humanity, surely of these there should be more. The story of how a young lady has overcome the challenge of being a teenage mother, to triumph - at the age of 22 to be studying at Uni with two children and still being with their father. It shows that if we put our minds to it we can do whatever we want to achieve.

The lad returned home safe after 12 days in the Australian wilderness. And the 11 year old girl who landed a 13st 8lb catfish. These made me smile.

Last night was funny, we had a good time out at our friends and I love driving my car (when I can be bothered) and when we got home hubby and I shared a tub of Ben & Jerry's icecream in bed. Yum.

Shortly after that I got up to visit the loo. On my return I was exploring where baby is currently lying and was surprised to feel a much bigger bump than before. I had to show hubby, it's not to the point where anyone else can spot the difference, but when he put his hand above my pubic bone he almost jumped in surprise and let out an exclamation. He has been able to feel a teeny bump for some time, but this feels a lot larger and harder. I can't believe it will soon be visible for all the world to see.

Lying down said bump disappears again, but anytime I stand up I am aware of my babys' presence. I woke this morning full of energy, and the sun shines. I will enjoy this weekend. There is so much to be done. But what I really wanna do? Is go out and buy baby clothes, lots of them too. I know its far too soon, but I feel like indulging. I think I'll get some stuff for my friend as she's due in October instead.

July is slipping through my fingers, 6 months and 4 days til my baby is due. We still can't believe that we are doing this. When does it become real?

Enjoy your weekend everybody.

Seems like everybody has vanished for their summer holidays or to do better things. Not much going on in my world, except bouts of extreme sadness (I wouldn't say depression because that is trivialising a serious complaint) when I want to curl up in my duvet and cry. No apparent reason. A little sleep soon does the trick. Or, of late getting into work and throwing myself into the day ahead.

It does annoy me that I am so unpredictable. I should be feeling positive, I've a baby growing inside me, but I just feel frustrated with my lack of energy and moods. I'm sure it will soon pass, but I've no idea how I'm going to get up and BE at the hospital for 8am on Monday for my scan, when I cant get myself out of bed before 8am most days!

On the upside, I did make it to the gym today - nothing too strenuous I might add, infact a rather pathetic 1.5km on the bike and 1.4km on the cross trainer - but all better than nothing.

Tonight we take the car up to visit a friend we'd normally walk over to, two reasons, firstly my back is still causing me problems walking, and secondly this lovely summer weather with flash rainstorms. No way am I exposing myself to it!

Well, tis finally the weekend and I am gonna relax. Hope you all have a good one

Happy

x

This lunchtime hubby and I went into town to return some library books, the traffic was really snarled up and an ambulance leaving the hospital had trouble getting on its way to wherever it was needed. Made us wonder if there had been a big accident, and keep our fingers crossed we weren't about to stumble upon it.

We turned a corner and noticed that the road outside the Town Hall was blocked off, there were a couple of Police and a man with an 'official marshal' jacket on so we figured that in fact it was a parade of some sorts.

We kept walking towards the library, and sure enough we started to hear drums beating. Out of curiosity we stopped to watch, unsure what or who was coming through town. I'm glad we did. It turns out today was the Homecoming March for the Princess of Wales Regiment, marking their return from Iraq and Afganistan.

I have never been too interested in either the Army or any kind of Military parade, with the exception of Remembrance Sunday, however this had me stopped in my tracks with tears springing to my eyes. These brave men were in their camo gear, smart and proud, and with a right to be proud too. I have the utmost respect for anyone with the guts to fight for our country. I know I would never have their courage. There were also older veterans, marching with their medals, not a huge parade, but enough, for their loved ones to see them home safe. As they approached the crowd began to clap and automatically hubby and I joined in until they had passed us by.

Seeing them made me curious about the Regiment, recruited from the South Coast so I have used google for a brief bit of research. Life carries on for those of us not in, or related to someone in the Armed Forces, and yet it is too easy to forget all that they do for our country.

I was glad that we'd been out and about when we had, and had seen them. It put my minor worries into perspective for certain.

Borrowed from La_Spice

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size……… was just fine before it grew!
2. I’ve come to realize that my job……… will not improve my mind.
3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving…… I'm also scared.
4. I’ve come to realize that I need…… a cleaner or housekeeper!
5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost……time
6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when……I bicker with hubby over inconsequential stuff
7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk…… I'm far more confident
8. I’ve come to realize that money…… is never enough
9. I’ve come to realize that certain people……… piss me right off!
10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always …… be a lazy slob at heart
11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling …… is no longer a baby but a grown lady
12. I’ve come to realize that my mom…….. is still overprotective
13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone…… does too much and is underused
14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning… I hurt less than the previous one
15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep… I didn't count my blessings.
16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking…… why am i sitting in the dark?
17. I’ve come to realize that my dad…… is never gonna come find me after all!
18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook…… I spend too long being nosy!
19. I’ve come to realize that today … will be whatever I make of it
20. I’ve come to realize that tonight……I'll have to be polite to someone I can't stand.
21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow…… I'm gonna be busy and too tired
22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to…… wash my teeth but not til I'm done!
23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is……. Bored
24. I’ve come to realize that life….. holds as much fun as you want, you just gotta look!
25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend…… the weather is gonna be shite!
26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset…… is Olivia Newton Johns Totally Hot
27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. …… are mostly acquaintances.
28. I’ve come to realize that this year…… has been amazing so far
29. I’ve come to realize that my exes…… were part of a learning curve to finding hubby
30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should……step away from the laptop
31. I’ve come to realize that I love…… having time and freedom to do as I chose.
32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand…… the Business or Political worlds at all.
33. I’ve come to realize my past…… brought me where I am today
34. I’ve come to realize that parties…… are good in the right company.
35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified…… of losing my bump.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and the sun shines on you.

loadsa love

Happy

x

ps - i am deeply ashamed of my hubby, he is sitting engrossed watching 'Dude, Where's my Car?' in the lounge. I thought he had some taste!

No post, hope y'all are well.

x

After a week of laziness I finally made my way back to the gym. I was pretty rubbish. I cycled 1.6kms and then slowly ran 1.4kms before heading home.

I am hoping to get back again at least once this week, as its an expensive hobby if I don't go regularly. It's cost me the equivalent of £4.50 for each visit this last month as I've only been 7 times, where usually I'd go about 12-16 times!

Off to work now. Such joy!

x

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1) Dust bunnies
2) Clothes
3) books
4) duvet
5) junk
6) suitcases
7) broken fan

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1) Do You Like Anyone? Yup, Hubby for reality and there's a nice bit of eye-candy in my office for looking at!
2) Does Someone Like You? Only the hubby that I know of.
3) Last Kiss? about half an hour ago
4) Been Lead On? Definitely
5) Been Cheated On? Yep I was sooo naive at the time, thought he cared but he was screwing around.
6) Want A Relationship? Happy with the one I've got thanks
7) Want to Get Married? I'd love another wedding day to the same man, with all the things we couldn't afford first time, but not if i have to pay again!

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU ...
1) Believe In God? Nope - cliched but too much unexplained sadness and pain for their to be someone watching over us all.
2) Had A Dream Come True? Yep if you mean an aspiration but nope if you mean a night time one
3) Read The Newspaper? nope. I am ignorant about the worlds news
4) Get Enough Sleep Everyday? nowhere near as much as I'd like!
5) Have A Best Friend? my hubby is my bestest mate nowadays. Is that sad?
6) Take A Bath Daily? How much effort would that be? No, I shower.
7) Wish On Stars? Nope

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS
1) Fallen In Love? Yep
2) Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex? not like that no, only in a familial way
3) Hooked Up With Someone Who Had A BF/GF? someone that had a wife, but we never did anything, just flirted a lot.
4) Been To A Bonfire? yup, hate em.
5) Ran Away From Home? Not that I can remember
6) Played Strip Poker? No,
7) Pulled An All Nighter? Nope

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1) Cried? yes - I'm a bundle of emotions today
2) Had Fun? nope
3) Been Kissed? yep
4) Felt Stupid? yep
5) Talked To An Ex? nope
6) Missed Someone? yep
7) Listened To Music? definitely

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1) Need to clean the damn flat
2) my throw stinks
3) wish the weather would improve
4) hate maggots, hate hate HATE!
5) must get up and hlp hubby cook soon
6) should also comb my hair
7) can I go bed yet?

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
1) Hubby
2) Shoes
3) credit card
4) food
5) music
6) sleep
7) cuddles

Inspired by La_spices' post I was thinking back to the last time I wrote a letter. Not the complaint letter, or a scabby note to the docs for a repeat prescription, but a proper letter to update a friend on news.

I have one family friend (a dear lady from my childhood) that I write to, but even that is lucky if I do so 3 times a year! Yet I do so remember the days when you'd sit down to a letter from someone you hadnt heard from, with a cup of coffee and a bit of cake and sit back and enjoy their news.

Now the post just brings junk, so I have decided I am going to give myself a new challenge. I am going to get back in touch with people I haven't spoken to in some time and instead of emailing them or texting them I am gonna try to write them a nice long letter with all my news.

I've hoards of letters from friends and family that I've kept over the years, I'd hate to think that I will receive no more. My only sadness is that I have no choice but to trust my letters to Royal Mail.

So, when did you last write a letter to someone you care about? And will you take up the challenge to write a letter a month to someone you care for? Just think of the smile on their face when they get home from work, go through their mail and find a handwritten letter in amongst the junk.

SWALK

x

I had a fairly decent nights sleep and am a lot less paranoid today. It's hubbys last day of work this week and I'm glad for him, he's taking tomorrow off to attend a Dr's appt with me, and then to help his dad take our junk to the tip.

Its been sitting in the garden for ages, an old bath, an old loo and an old sink, plus various other bits n bobs. Plus, he needs a break. I think the thought of finishing our house, moving house, driving lessons and stress at work is doing him in. Tis certainly a time of change in our household, but all for the best. I keep hoping hubby will apply for a job with a rival company (tis well known that ours underpays for his kinda role) but then he'd have to commute and that's the last thing I want to add to his day.

I was gonna call the docs today as I've managed to bugger my back up. There's to be no more sliding down stairs on my bum for some time, although I think it was more likely the sudden stop when I realised I had carpet burn which jolted my back, but it bloody hurts!

I can't even be bothered to go the Dr today. The lines been constantly engaged since 8am anyway which means all the good appointments will be gone.

So, breakfast and into work early today I think, I wanna get on top of my work as early as I can this month, my job is great but the targets are done monthly, so no sooner you think 'fab I've cracked this' it resets and you're off again.

This month especially, being the start of the 2nd half of the year, means I have to shape up to ensure I get a decent payrise/bonus next spring. I'll sure need the cash, even if we don't go Barbados next year!

Ok, must get on, have a good day all

x